Fidget's Fifth

Dilettante writes semifictional children’s books about the inner lives of zoo animals.

Giraffes, he writes, almost exclusively dream as unicorns.

Dilettante was up late all we long, putting together the final touches on a special edition DVD box set of his brother’s third marriage, complete with bloopers, outtakes, behind-the-scenes glimpses of the consummation, et cetera.

Instead, he was kidnapped,

Taken to a place,

Taken under (drugged),

woke up in a room full of actors

First thing he says is,

"Is this place real? Is this

Virtual reality?"

Not knowing why he thought to ask at all.

"You can leave,"

Said a booming voice

Dilettante determined to be a mannish woman,

From an adjacent room.

"but you only enter another room

each room is diffferent

And has, therefore,

Rules unique unto me itself.

No two rooms are remotely alike,

Due to Fidget's Fifth."

"Fidget's What?"